


if i get burned, at least we were electrified

by dumbjocklesbian



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, beta is a gift from sappho themself, but they're lesbians so it's allowed, so many feeings, they're idiots, title is from dress by taylor swift
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28862604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbjocklesbian/pseuds/dumbjocklesbian
Summary: “Are you ready?” Adora always wore her heart on her sleeve, every emotion clearly visible as it found a home amid each of her features, and this wasn’t any different. Her eyebrows pinched together in this fond expression, like this might actually mean something to her. 'Could it? Could she—forget it. No. No way. She probably just likes sex.'ORAdora and Catra have been pining after each other for their entire lives. One movie night leads to an accidental friends with benefits fiasco. And then, they can't seem to stop having casual sex. But it's totally normal to hide feelings for your best friend while fucking them regularly, right?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 235





	1. silence and patience

**Author's Note:**

> HUGE thank you to my wonderful beta, Skye! Please check out their Instagram @happy_one_yearr and their fics here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyeline/pseuds/Skyeline  
> This fic would not even be half as good if they weren't so willing to indulge my ramblings and half-formed ideas, so, truly, shout-out to them!  
> Also shout-out to the other coyotes for their endless support! It truly means so much to me!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this fic! And Happy Adora Day!

Adora waved to her teammates as she left the locker room. Normally, she’d join them for dinner—Adora was nothing if not a loyal teammate—however, some things were just more important.

Namely, Catra. Catra was more important than anyone or anything. Adora knew that now, and she vowed she’d never lose sight of such an integral truth again.

Adora was primarily raised by her aunt, Light Hope, after her parents and twin brother died in a car accident when she was a baby, and Catra was brought up in the foster home next door. All of Adora’s earliest memories included Catra, from learning to ride a bike to the first day of kindergarten. They’d been inseparable for just over twelve years. Everything had fallen apart when Adora’s actually godmother, a kind woman named Mara, gained custody just after Adora's sixteenth birthday.

After three years of separation and a number of fights in the middle of, otherwise normal, high school parties and dances, they’d rekindled their friendship when they met again in college. A mutual friendship had forced them to begrudgingly spend time together, but, gradually, they settled into the comfortable rhythm they’d grown up embracing.

Now, even the simple thought of an evening with Catra pulled a smile across Adora’s lips. She would never get over the rush that came from knowing they were friends again, after almost three whole years of fighting or barely talking.

She didn’t know how she could’ve gotten so lucky.

Growing up, Friday night had always been movie night in the Fright Zone, as they'd cleverly nicknamed Catra's home when they were five. (It doubled as drinking night for Shadow Weaver, but, truth be told, so did most other nights.) Joyful butterflies flooded Adora’s stomach, knowing she’d spend this Friday, outside of the Fright Zone, watching a movie with Catra. They used to have to sit in separate chairs on those nights, until Shadow Weaver stopped checking on the children. At that point in the evening, Catra and Adora would always get closer to each other, and they’d stay that way until Light Hope demanded Adora return home. In those peaceful moments, they'd talk and laugh as quietly as possible, imagining their future together. Adora always felt safest in those moments with Catra; when it felt like the world was just the two of them.

Adora still felt that way around Catra, even more so now that they didn’t have to worry about Shadow Weaver’s prying eyes. Whenever they locked eyes to share a private glance, Adora was convinced the rest of the world simply stopped.

Adora spotted Catra as soon as she neared the gym exit. As soon as she saw the tell-tale maroon beanie, she picked up her pace, nearly running into about five other athletes. Throwing apologies over her shoulder, her warm cheeks finally met the cold February air. Her overly-excited footsteps made enough noise for Catra to look up from checking her classic black nails. Adora’s gym bag wobbled behind her as she bounded down the steps, likely hitting more than a couple people as she raced to get closer to Catra, enjoying the familiar warmth that came with the other woman’s presence.

Catra rolled her eyes at Adora’s excitement, but she couldn’t hide her slight smirk at the sight, either. She leaned heavily against the nearby wall, her left boot and both shoulders pressed against it, and offered her usual greeting.

“Hey, Adora.”

And _that_ never got old. Adora hoped Catra would assume her face was red because she was a super jock who just did a billion push-ups, and not because she was an easily flustered dork.

Naturally, Catra followed her greeting up with some teasing remarks. _Of course_.

“Do you know how stupid you look when you jump down the steps like that? Remind me again how you’re the best athlete in this school when you act like a five-year-old?”

Adora’s eyes gleamed. Catra made this too easy.

“Aw, you think I’m the best athlete at our school? Would you like an autograph?” She was shoved into a bush as soon as the words escaped, barely intelligible through her teasing laughter.

“It should be illegal to compliment you. Cocky asshole.”

Adora stumbled forward, arms crossed. She leaned her shoulder into Catra’s, gearing up to tease her back. “Hmm, well you took the job of professional, dictionary-definition asshole already. I’ll take what I can get.” Her chest puffed and a proud smirk found its way onto her face, eyes sparkling with the familiar dare for Catra to continue the banter.

“You say that like you could pull off the don’t-give-a-fuck attitude. You’re not cut out for it, princess.” Though Catra tried to look unimpressed, Adora recognized a glint in Catra’s eyes as well. She enjoyed this, too.

Adora rolled her eyes to hide her smile. Conversation with Catra always came so much easier than it did with anyone else, even her other friends. There was something different, something special, about her relationship with Catra that she’d never been able to put her finger on. They always settled into a comforting rhythm, soothing Adora from her typical anxious thoughts. But, at the same time, Catra was so exciting, always willing to put Adora in her place when she needed it. Catra was just . . . Catra. In all the best ways.

Catra did bring her own brand of anxious thoughts, ones Adora was only beginning to understand, but they brought sweaty palms and a pounding heart alongside them.

_Have I been smiling at her too long? Maybe I should look at the ground now? That’s normal, right?_

Clearing her throat, Adora tried to start the conversation again. They’d been walking towards her dorm in silence for a couple seconds now, and she wasn’t sure what she might start thinking about if she didn’t start talking. And quickly. “So, um, what’s the plan for tonight?”

Catra’s hands slipped into her pockets. “I was thinking maybe order takeout? And then of course, a movie. That cool with you?”

Adora nodded, grateful for the opportunity to simply be close to Catra for a few hours. Maybe she’d be able to figure out why _the fuck_ she kept being so weird around Catra. It hadn’t always been like this! Well, maybe it had, but it hadn’t always been this _bad_.

_What kind of shitty friend am I? Sure, Catra’s completely perfect and gorgeous, but seriously? Thinking about kissing her crosses a line, Adora. Even if her lips look impossibly soft. Get a grip._

After what felt like a decade, they finally arrived in Adora’s dorm room, which was stupid, because she lived right next to the gym. Maybe watching Catra walk made her lose track of time, or forget the world was real. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time.

They settled in Adora’s bed together, lights off, bodies close. They ended up watching _10 Things I Hate About You_. Catra decided the lead characters fit the same brand of asshole as Catra and Adora, and they spent the entire movie pointing out the similarities between themselves and the characters, mostly in the form of teasing remarks.

“Oh my god, you would _absolutely_ be introduced as a rom-com lead with ‘Bad Reputation’ playing.”

“Fuck off, at least I know better than to _play with fire_ , you fucking idiot.”

“That was _one time_ and it was _your idea_.”

Catra scoffed, flicking a hand lazily. “Details.”

As the movie became more and more romantic between the two characters, Adora felt her heart rate increase rapidly. She kept shifting slightly closer to Catra, this incredible adrenaline bubbling inside her every time Catra’s hand brushed against her own.

When they got to the most iconic scene in the movie— Patrick singing to Kat during soccer practice, duh— Catra’s teasing remarks increased exponentially.

“See, Adora, that’s so you. Only a cocky asshole would have the balls to serenade a girl like that. Plus, you totally dance as badly as he does. And sing as badly.” Catra turned over her shoulder to flash a cheeky grin at Adora, prompting Adora to sing loudly, right in Catra’s face.

They kept inching closer and closer, all laughs and teasing smiles. Adora prayed Catra couldn’t hear her rapid heartbeat, but she couldn’t even consider pulling away, not when Catra was so close, not when her eyes were so bright, and maybe even hopeful. Catra’s soft smile turned lustful, and Adora took a sharp breath in a last-ditch attempt to regulate her heart rate. It seemed to maybe work for a moment, until Catra licked her lips, and Adora decided breathing may be overrated, anyway. Somehow, one of her hands landed on Catra’s soft cheek. Their lips were only a few inches apart now. Those long, beautiful eyelashes fluttered shut, and Adora felt her own close on instinct before she really knew what she was doing. Something smooth contacted her lips, and it was like every molecule in her body was on fire. They moved in synch, Catra releasing a soft sigh that made Adora feel like she was walking on air for a moment, until reality came crashing in on her. Her eyes flew open, eyebrows reaching the top of her forehead. Her whole body seemed to flinch, the familiar intrusion of guilt ripping them apart.

Adora slammed the laptop shut, as if the movie made her do it. “I’m so sorry, Catra! I don’t know what came over me, I—”

Catra held up a hand, signaling for Adora’s freak out to stop. Her voice was very gentle. Soothing, even. “Hey, Adora, it’s okay.” Her hand reached back to scratch at the nape of her neck.

_I want to touch her there. Stop it, Adora! What is wrong with me?_

Catra continued, her voice becoming more confident again as the words fell from her mouth, “It, uh, doesn’t have to mean anything. Kiss me again.”

Voice shaking, Adora whispered, “Are you sure?” Catra nodded. “Okay, but are you, like, really, really super sure?”

An eye roll was in order for that. “Yes, you fucking idiot!” Catra swatted at Adora’s shoulder, and Adora let some of the tension wash away. A timid expression crossed Catra’s features for a moment. Voice small once again, Catra whispered, “Do you want to kiss me?” Mouth suddenly dry, Adora could only nod.

Slowly, she brought her hand up to cup Catra’s cheek, relishing in the way Catra’s head fit perfectly in her own palm. Her hand was met with the incredible heat of Catra’s soft blush, sending goosebumps all the way up and down her arms. She ran a thumb across those beautiful, soft freckles. Eyes flitting between Catra’s mouth and lips, Adora leaned in closer. She moved slowly, wanting to allow Catra the opportunity to change her mind, just in case she needed to.

Apparently, she took too long, because Catra’s hand came up around the nape of her neck, pulling Adora in for a strong, solid kiss, one that Adora was sure she’d remember for the rest of her life. Somewhere, she heard herself moan as Catra’s teeth grazed her bottom lip, but she couldn’t focus enough to care. There wasn’t room for anything other than Catra in that moment, guilt could rip her to shreds later. Adora was half-convinced that kissing Catra was the only thing that could ever matter, anyway. No other thought could even come close to crossing Adora’s mind, not when her lips were grazing Catra’s incredible jawline, not when Catra was pulling herself into Adora’s lap, not when Catra was laying them both down, and certainly not when she laid down on top of Adora.

Adora placed a gentle hand on Catra’s shoulder, silently stopping her. She hated the feeling of not kissing Catra, now that she knew how incredible those lips felt against her own, but this sight of a flushed, panting Catra laying on top of her more than made up for the momentary loss of Catra’s kiss.

Plus, this conversation was important. Adora couldn’t let herself continue without it.

She swallowed quickly, suddenly very aware of the rapid rise and fall of her own chest. “Catra, wh-what are you, um, comfortable doing with me right now? Like, uh, is there anywhere you don’t like to be touched? Do you even want this to go beyond kissing? Do you feel safe with me?”

Catra blinked slowly and took a deep, shuddering breath before she brought her mouth up to Adora’s ear and whispered, “I’d like to have sex with you.” She paused to pull away, hooking her index finger under Adora’s jaw, bringing them eye-to-eye once more, “But, I need to know what you want, too, Adora.”

And oh god, Adora was absolutely astonished to realize she hadn’t lost her cognitive function after _that_. “Yeah, yeah, I, um, that sounds super rad.” Before she could even feel embarrassed about her word choice, Catra let out one of her high-pitched giggles, and they were back to kissing. And it was better than anything she ever could’ve imagined.

* * *

Catra could hardly believe this was happening. The actualization of every fantasy she’d ever fostered since puberty was almost too much to bare. Adora’s arms felt so safe, anchored firmly around her waist. She couldn’t get enough. Every kiss, every shuddering breath, every soft moan—she needed to memorize it all.

She felt herself leading most of the kiss, and that trust gave her a very special thrill. She was determined not to waste even an ounce of it. She continued to press her lips firmly against Adora’s. Her wandering hands found those _stupidly_ muscular shoulders, and she felt her underwear dampen. Each touch brought a new wave of heat across her entire body. Any clothing suddenly felt unbelievably restrictive.

Catra started to pull away from the kiss, hands delicately pushing against Adora’s sturdy collarbones. Her heart nearly stopped when she took in the soft pout slinking onto Adora’s features. _Does she really like kissing me that much?_ Catra sat up taller at the mere thought, still straddling Adora. The shift brought her clit down hard against Adora’s thigh, and she tucked that feeling away for later, certain it would come in handy.

Catra panted heavily. In any other circumstance, she’d be embarrassed by how worked up she’d gotten from a few mere kisses. But, now, with Adora, embarrassment doesn’t come. She spent her entire life hoping this moment would come, praying she would be worth it. She refused to let her pride get in the way of enjoying this night with Adora, knowing it may be her only chance.

Shaking her head to push those thoughts away, Catra brought her voice to a soft whisper, afraid anything louder would break whatever spell they were under. “Are you okay with us taking off our shirts?” And, fuck, did she wish she could save the look of delight that graced Adora’s features. _She’s so fucking beautiful_.

It only took Adora half a second to start playing with the hem of Catra’s t-shirt. Face flushing at the feeling of being _wanted_ , Catra threw her arms in the air, letting Adora do the rest.

 _Nothing_ could have prepared Catra for the look on Adora’s face when she took in the sight of Catra’s bare chest. Adora’s mouth gaped open, accompanied by the smallest, sweetest gasp Catra had ever heard. She tried not to blush, firmly reminding herself that this _couldn’t_ mean anything, that they were just _friends_ fooling around a little. She forced her gaze up towards the ceiling, playing it off like she was seductively arching her back. For an extra impact, she groaned and brought a hand from her cheek to her right breast, doing her best to convince Adora to stop staring and start grabbing.

It worked.

Adora started to bring her hands up to Catra’s boobs, eyes wide, perfect teeth starting to bite her kiss-swollen lower lip. Just as she was about to make contact, she stopped herself. Her gaze shifted up to Catra’s eyes. Breathing suddenly felt impossible. Since when was eye contact so overwhelming? Catra tried to tell herself it was just because she’s shorter, so she wasn't used to Adora looking _up_ at her, but it was a load of crap, and even Catra’s half-functioning mind knew that.

Voice hoarse, Adora asked, “Um, c-can I? Touch you?”

Throwing on a seductive smile to (hopefully) distract from her trembling voice, Catra heard herself say, “Have at it, princess.”

And _holy shit_ , a couple seconds of titty grabbing should _not_ have felt _so fucking amazing._

Adora’s hands were bigger than Catra’s, just slightly. They easily cupped over Catra’s breasts. And Adora was warm. Not just in her hands, but also in that _stupid_ , _dumb-struck_ smile that was going to fucking haunt Catra for the rest of her goddamn life.

It was like this idiot had never seen tits before.

Catra was gearing up to make fun of Adora, when Adora leaned towards Catra’s left side, lips slightly parted. There was a soft lick against her nipple. “Fuck! Adora!” Catra tangled her hand around what remained of Adora’s ponytail, pressing them closer together, savoring the warmth of Adora’s perfect mouth.

Adora seemed to grow more confident from Catra’s reaction. She wrapped her left arm around Catra’s waist, the other hand tweaking Catra’s right nipple while her mouth continued its ministrations on her left one. She seemed content to experiment on Catra’s body, clearly eager to see how she could continue to pull those sweet grunts from the other woman’s lips. She licked, nibbled, and sucked everywhere she could reach, and when it was time to change sides, she paused to press slow, teasing kisses across Catra’s body, reaching from one nipple to the other.

It felt incredible.

Though Catra was certainly experienced when it came to sexual endeavors, she rarely let a partner take their time with her body like this. Normally, she felt exposed, too vulnerable to enjoy the sensations. But, with Adora, it was all different. This level of care was mind-blowing, sending chills and goosebumps across every single inch of her body.

And that was the problem.

She couldn’t let this become too special. She’d never, ever get over it. Her lingering feelings for Adora already haunted her love life— adding fuel to the fire would only push her into a self-destructive mindset.

No, she had to regain control. Then, Adora couldn’t overwhelm her with those sweet looks, or gentle touches, or soft groans right into her mouth. _Stupid sexy Adora_.

In a rush, Catra pulled away.

“Your turn,” she smirked, eying Adora’s torso up and down, bringing her hands to the hem of Adora’s t-shirt. She waited for Adora to raise her own arms, though. She needed the reassurance that this was still okay for Adora.

Somehow, Adora flushed even deeper as her shirt was practically ripped from her body. She looked a little . . . shy, maybe? In the meantime, she pressed a few gentle kisses against Adora’s neck. She was rewarded with a small shudder, and, oh, Catra knew how to work with that. She pressed kisses from the end of Adora’s ear down to her collarbone— with a brief pit stop to lick against her jawline, of course, she’s not an amateur— before offering Adora’s neck a light suck. That light suck quickly turned harder when she heard a shuddered “Ca-Ca-Catra!” She’d never loved the sound of her own name so much.

Feeling bolder in her performance now, Catra took her time to experiment against Adora’s neck. She didn’t want to rush into removing Adora’s sports bra, partly because Adora had looked a little shy while her shirt was removed, and partly because Catra wasn’t sure she was emotionally prepared for the opportunity to _touch_ and _suck_ what were arguably the sexiest breasts in the world.

In the locker room in ninth grade, Catra had been graced with a few short glimpses of Adora’s breasts, and nobody had been able to live up to the sight since. Adora had already ruined boobs for Catra, she couldn’t let her ruin anything else. (Of course, this was less about what other breasts looked like and more about Adora simply being _Adora_ , but Catra knew that logic would extend to almost every other aspect of sex. She needed to protect herself at least a little bit.)

Catra just knew that if she felt Adora’s fingers or tongue against her— or worse, if she made Adora cum in her mouth or on her fingers, _fuck_ — she’d never be able to truly enjoy sex again. She’d spend the rest of her life craving Adora’s touch, the same way she’d spent the last six years longing for her stupidly beautiful tits.

But, taking Adora’s strap would be different. She could simply ride it and be done. It wouldn’t be so intimate.

And it wouldn’t crush her quite as much if she never got to have it again.

Or so she hoped.

Unconsciously, Catra’s hips rolled against Adora’s thigh as she thought about riding Adora. She felt like she could’ve passed out from the contact, she couldn’t ever remember being so turned on before. She couldn’t stop herself from chasing the feeling, blindly grinding herself against Adora.

* * *

Adora simply watched for a moment, eyes wide, jaw dropping slightly. Catra looked so gorgeous. Pink cheeks. Eyes closed blissfully. Small grunts pouring from her mouth, mixed with pants. Back arching.

“You’re so hot.” The words were out before she really decided to say them. Adora’s stomach dropped, worried her bluntness may have fucked things up, but Catra moaned, long and low, at the compliment.

Her voice was low when she spoke again, words drenched in arousal in a way that made Adora drip. “Do you have a strap-on? I want to—ah!—ride you.” Catra managed to open to eyes as she spoke, and Adora was sure she would’ve done anything Catra asked of her in that moment.

“I, uh, yes! Just... give me a second… Oh, and, keep touching yourself while I get it? I want to make sure you’re still wet enough. I have lube, too, of course, I’m not an idiot, well—”

Catra grabbed Adora’s cheek, forcing eye contact.

“Adora, it’s all completely okay. I have, in fact, done this before. I know how it works.” She flashed a gentle smile, and Adora was grateful she was still in the bed, because if she’d been standing when Catra looked at her like _that_ she just _knew_ she would’ve fallen over.

With a nod, Adora gently pulled Catra off of her, walking towards the closet, which held her strap-on. The thing was, Adora hadn’t exactly had sex with anyone yet. She only even owned the thing because Glimmer and Bow convinced her she couldn’t go to college without one. And that happened a year and a half ago.

It wasn’t like Adora didn’t have opportunities to have sex. Lots of people flirted with her, and she even recognized at least 30% of those interactions as flirting. It was just… well… she’d grown up picturing Catra as her first.

Catra had a way of getting Adora out of her own head, of making her feel safe to be herself. Even during those three years when almost every interaction turned into a fight, Catra saw right through Adora’s tricks. It was easier to be vulnerable with someone who’d already knocked down your walls. It just was.

And, of course, there was the fact that Catra had always been the most beautiful person in the world, according to Adora. Nobody in the world could live up to Catra’s determination. Their smiles didn’t form the way Catra’s did, starting as a smirk and slowly taking over her entire face. Adora never got goosebumps from mere eye contact with another person, but that happened every time Catra looked at her for more than a few seconds. Nobody was Catra, so how could Adora be attracted to them?

 _But we’re friends,_ Adora reminded herself. _Just friends hooking up. Like friends do_.

Adora approached her closet, slowly opening the door. She didn’t want the impending squeak of the hinges to interrupt Catra, who was touching herself lightly on the bed behind Adora.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Adora began unbuttoning her jeans. She could do this. It was just Catra. She was safe with Catra.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the bed, Catra kept her strokes light and delicate. She wasn’t worried about her body becoming unaroused the way Adora seemed to presume it would, but the light, occasional touches helped keep some of her desperation at bay. She watched Adora remove her jeans and reveal a pair of red boxers that made her ass look _phenomenal_. Swallowing a groan, Catra forced herself to slow her touches. Adora’s simple existence was going to push her right over the goddamn edge if she wasn’t careful.

Regretfully, she tore her gaze from Adora’s changing body up to the ceiling, trying to remind herself to stay focused. _There’s no way this means anything to Adora._ Eyes shut. Fists clenched. _Don’t make it romantic. She’s your best friend._ A deep breath. _You can’t lose her again_. The words cut into her like a knife, but she knew it would be better to hear it from herself than to hear it from Adora. She just needed to stay sharp, needed to avoid getting too caught up in the years she’d spent wishing for this.

* * *

Adora turned back to the bed. The portion of her ponytail that was still intact bounced with the motion. That bright smile took up almost her entire face, but her fidgeting fingers showed the anxiety she was still shouldering. Her eyes softened at the sight of Catra, now completely naked, on her bed. How could she get so lucky?

She flexed the muscles in her hands, sternly reminding herself that this was platonic. No love allowed here.

Catra looked a little…tense, maybe?

“Hey, you okay?”

Catra’s eye blinked open, and Adora nearly moaned from the way Catra looked at her, eyes darting across every muscle, taking in the sight of Adora rubbing lube along the shaft of her strap-on. Adora had never felt so wanted before.

(She clenched her fist again. _Stop it, Adora. Just. Friends._ )

“Yeah, I’m just really close. This probably won’t take long.”

Biting back her disappointment that this moment may already be ending, Adora nodded, maybe a little too quickly. “Right! Y-yeah, of course. How do you want me?”

Catra sat up a little taller at that, clearly enjoying her control over the situation. Adora tried not to shiver, tried not to tell Catra she could do anything she wanted with her. Catra shifted onto her right side, head balanced in one hand, and brought her other hand to rub the sheets next to her.

“Come lay here on your back, next to me.”

It took only a couple of seconds for Adora to get there, eagerness flowing from that blinding smile.

“Now what?” The hushed words barely tumbled from Adora’s mouth. The moment felt too intimate for a normal volume, like any sudden sound could rip this moment away from her and leave her fucking herself to a mere fantasy.

“Now, I’m going to ride you. Stay deep in me, short thrusts. That’s the fastest way to get me off in this position. Think you can manage that for me, princess?”

“Yes.”

Catra smiled. She hesitated a moment, then pressed one more kiss to Adora’s neck. A soft “good girl” was whispered against her skin, prompting a full-body shiver from the blonde.

* * *

With that, Catra swung her left leg over Adora’s hip, her hands poised on either side of Adora’s waist for balance. She was kicking herself for never removing Adora’s bra, but she was half-convinced that she’d lose all cognitive ability if she witnessed her own movements trigger tit bouncing from the one woman she’d spent her entire life pining over.

Adora’s hotness was going to make her finish embarrassingly quickly anyway. She didn’t need to add a fully naked Adora into the mix and make her arousal any more humiliating. Especially when Adora was blushing so hard, eyes locked on Catra’s.

“Are you ready?” Adora always wore her heart on her sleeve, every emotion clearly visible as it found a home amid each of her features, and this wasn’t any different. Her eyebrows pinched together in this fond expression, like this might actually mean something to her. _Could it? Could she—forget it. No. No way. She probably just likes sex_.

“Ready.” Catra tore her gaze away from those stupidly caring blue eyes, turning her attention to the strap so she could properly place it inside herself.

* * *

Catra was too focused to see Adora reach out to help her, then pull her hand away, deciding it would be too intimate to help ease her strap into Catra’s pussy. Adora wouldn’t be able to help herself. She’d wind up tasting the fingertips that contacted Catra’s wetness, and she was certain she’d moan, and then where would they be? No, it was better to grip the sheets instead.

Catra bounced slightly as the strap-on eased inside her. She was entirely in control of the motion, and the sight was fundamentally breath-taking. Her mouth opened, a series of “fuck”s and “oh”s thrown around the room. As the strap got deeper inside her, she started leaning forward slightly, grunting and biting her lip at the feeling.

Unable to help herself, Adora leaned up slightly (she’d never been so thankful for her abs), hands on either side of Catra’s face, and kissed her firmly, just as the strap completely filled her. The moan the smaller girl let out rumbled around Adora’s chest, but the kiss didn’t end. Their lips kept crashing together, hands pulling on the backs of necks to keep them close, both of them hoping the other couldn’t hear just how loud their heart was beating.

It was everything Adora had ever dreamed of.

Elated, she let out a happy giggle. The sound practically twinkled in the air. She wasn’t sure she’d ever made such a purely joyful noise in her life.

Catra blushed at the sound. Adora was too happy to wonder why.

“Alright, Catra, are you adjusted?” Adora’s voice was low, and she kept her face a mere two inches from Catra’s, eyes darting across every feature, both to admire and to detect any sign of discomfort.

“Uh, yeah. I am.”

One of the blonde’s eyebrows raised, and her voice held a seductive sound. “Good. Go ahead and fuck me then.” One of her long, delicate fingers traced Catra’s jawline as she spoke. A satisfied warmth exploded within Adora’s chest as she watched Catra shudder. _Oh my god, did I make her do that? Holy shit._ Followed shortly by _I want to make her do it again_.

With a shuddering breath, Catra began to move. She wasted no time, going right for strong, solid movements that seemed to hit the right spot, based on her expression. Her lower lip would likely have a bruise from how hard she was biting it. Adora wanted to be the one biting it, but she didn’t want to accidently hurt Catra while she was moving like this. Plus, watching Catra’s soft, small boobs bounce wasn’t exactly something Adora wanted to _stop_ doing.

She was surprised by how much pressure she was feeling against her clit as she thrusted up to meet Catra’s motions. Catra wasn’t kidding about staying deep, she only let the strap move out of her by, like, an inch, which meant the harness was rubbing against Adora’s clit _very_ frequently. It wasn’t quite often enough that she felt like she was going to have an orgasm, but it was pleasant. She was glad her harness was basically just some short boxers; it would likely lessen the wet spot she was sure she was creating on her bedsheets. She didn’t want Catra to feel objectified if she caught Adora sitting in a puddle of her own wetness when this was over.

As Catra controlled the thrusts, Adora let her hands wander. Catra’s body was much softer than hers, likely due to the fact that Catra didn’t spend 14 hours per week swimming in a chlorinated pool, but the touch was fascinating to Adora. She couldn’t get enough. She never wanted to touch anyone else in the world.

Her hands started at Catra’s thighs, both of them groaning when Adora felt how wet Catra’s inner thighs were. _Is that because of me?_ She shook her head. _Don’t be stupid, Adora. It’s obviously the strap. If it was you, she would’ve asked you to touch her directly. Or something. Right?_

Continuing to travel upwards, Adora delicately touched Catra’s stomach. There was a different kind of softness there now, and Adora couldn’t get enough of it. Catra’s stomach wasn’t riddled with divots of muscle like hers. No, Catra’s stomach felt like a cloud, or a pillow. Adora was fascinated, eyes wide as her fingertips felt more of this fundamental perfection.

“Fuck! Adora!” Snapping her gaze upward, Adora found the most beautiful sight in the universe: Catra on the brink of an orgasm. Every thought left her mind. She was nothing more than a collection of impulses, desperate to do anything to help Catra finish.

She continued thrusting back at Catra’s same rhythm, hands finding their way to Catra’s hips to help stabilize the now-trembling woman. She pressed her lips against one of Catra’s unbelievably hard nipples, earning a gasp.

“Fuck, that feels so good!” The compliment went straight to Adora’s clit, and she moaned against Catra’s nipple. Catra threw her arms around Adora, clinging to the strong woman for some sense of stability as she neared release.

* * *

The motion threw Adora slightly off balance. With a soft, “woah!” she balanced on her right arm to keep them upright. The slight misstep brought a giggle from her lips, and, when they locked eyes, Catra swore for a moment it felt like they might really love each other.

And that was enough to bring her right over the edge.

“Fuck, shit, oh god! Yes, fuck! Adora!”

* * *

“I’ve got you, I’m here,” Adora whispered, arms instantly looping around Catra’s waist, pulling her in close. Catra practically collapsed into the touch, her pants hitting Adora’s neck. _Why is that so hot?_

They both clung to each other far longer than a simple hook up warranted. Eventually, Adora pulled away to offer Catra a sip of water, and then Catra removed herself from the strap to settle next to Adora.

Adora felt her hands shake lightly. _Will the spell be broken now? Was this my only chance to have sex with Catra, to be so intimate with her?_ An ache formed in her chest, bringing a lump in her throat along with it.

Adora settled down next to Catra, their shoulders brushing, both of their eyes locked on the ceiling. Each of them longed for more contact, to fully embrace the other. But they knew they couldn’t give in to the intensity of those romantic feelings, knew they needed to keep this as casual as possible. Slowly, though, their pinkies brushed against each other, and that was enough contact to soothe each of their frantic hearts. _She doesn’t hate me_ , they thought in unison.

As Adora regained the confidence to speak, the ability to overthink returned as well. “Was that okay? Did everything feel good? Do you want, uh, well, anything?” Her eyes were wide and caring, but her voice was small and anxious, like she worried any wrong word could result in a fight.

A small, affectionate smile formed across Catra’s lips. “I’m good, Adora. Do you have a vibrator?”

Adora’s blood ran cold. She worried she’d misjudged, that she hadn’t really made Catra orgasm, that she’d been terrible, that Catra was unhappy, that she’d really never get to have this experience again because she’d apparently been _terrible_ at it—

“Hey, dummy, you in there?” Jokingly, Catra knocked against Adora head. “No, sounds hollow in there. Just as I suspected!”

“I’m so sorry, Catra, I thought you felt good, I’ve never—”

Catra brought a hand to Adora's shoulder to silence her. “Woah, dude, can you take a breath for one second? The vibrator is for _you_.”

Adora opened her mouth, ready to protest Catra’s comment, before she actually comprehended the other woman’s words. “Wait, what?”

Sheepishly, Catra looked around the room. “I mean, I didn’t think you finished, I’m usually pretty good at figuring those things out—”

“Oh! The vibrator is for me! Cause I didn’t orgasm yet! I get it now!”

Catra shook her head, this lopsided smile on her face that made Adora’s heart flutter. “You’re such an idiot. So, vibrator?”

Adora reached into the drawer next to her nightstand, pulling out a small bullet vibrator, suddenly nervous as she asked a burning question. “D-do you want me to… ya know? Or do you want to…?”

Catra held her hand out for the small device. “I’ve got this one. Just lay back and relax, okay? You deserve it.”

Adora followed Catra’s instructions, adjusting the pillow below her to get comfortable.

* * *

Tentatively, Catra brought her hands to Adora’s harness. She eased Adora’s legs out of it, muttering a soft “fuck” under her breath as she saw and even _smelled_ how worked up Adora had gotten. Her folds were the most perfect shade of pink Catra had ever seen. She had to remind herself of her earlier promise. _Don’t fuck her with your fingers. Just use the vibrator. She’s too fucking hot, nobody else will live up to Adora._

Once Adora’s bottom half was fully bare, Catra checked in with her. Their eyes met, and once again, Catra felt goosebumps form across her arms. _Stupid fucking Adora_.

“You ready?”

Adora nodded. “I am. Just, uh, keep it on a low setting, okay?”

“You got it, princess.”

With that, Catra held the “on” button for three seconds, and the device buzzed to life. She eased it against Adora’s clit. The touch was met with a loud moan from Adora as she threw her head back, eyes shut tight, mouth open wide, hands firmly gripping the sheets below her. _How can anyone be this hot? It's not even fair._

“F-fuck, Catra… oh my god… so good,” Adora moaned. Catra could get used to those sounds, could probably even live off them, especially as she watched Adora’s thighs twitch.

She knew she couldn’t get too intimate or affectionate, for her own protection, but she wanted to know she was the one to push Adora over the edge, not some silly battery-powered device. She needed to know she caused this orgasm.

She remembered Adora shivering when Catra called her a good girl, remembered that the first thing Adora asked when they finished was about her performance. _Of course, she has a praise kink. I can work with that._

“Hey, Adora?”

Her words were met only with a deep moan, but that was good enough for Catra. She readjusted her body, so she was laying on her side next to Adora, vibrator still buzzing against that beautiful clit.

“You look so hot, all spread out like this. You’re so sexy, Adora. All these muscles to admire.” Catra traced a hand down Adora’s ripped abdomen, watched with wide-eyes as Adora arched into the touch.

“Catra! I-I’m . . . _fuck, Catra_!”

Catra held the vibrator there as long as she could. Adora was trembling pretty intensely, though, so she decided against trying to follow all of her movements, no matter how much fun it was to watch Adora come undone like that.

And, wow, was the view worth admiring. Adora was flushed from her cheeks to the top of her breasts, barely able to catch her breath, eyes still closed as she moaned and shivered through every aftershock.

Catra climbed on top of Adora, hoping she could hold the blonde through her intense orgasm. Adora wrapped her arms around Catra as well, eyes alight with happiness once she was able to open them again.

“Well, so much for getting take out and watching a movie, I guess,” Catra joked. She was sure she’d replay Adora’s sweet laugh in her mind every single day for the rest of her life.

* * *

“I’m not complaining.”

And Adora wasn’t. How could she complain? She'd just experienced the best orgasm of her entire life, Catra in her arms, giving her that beautiful smirk she loved more than words could describe.

Wait.

Oh.

Oh no.


	2. pining in anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora are both physically incapable of thinking about anything other than railing each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really huge thank you to my beta, Skye! Please follow them on Instagram and read their fics, they are so talented! https://www.instagram.com/happy_one_yearr/  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyeline/pseuds/Skyeline
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind comments on the first chapter. Every comment means so, so much to me! I really can't thank you enough. 
> 
> Sorry this took so long to finish. I've had a ton going on, but things should hopefully slow down enough for me to update faster in the future.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a great day!

Adora hardly slept that night. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Catra’s beautiful freckles. Every sound was somehow similar to Catra’s soft moans, and even the memory of those sounds sent shivers down her spine. Whenever she rolled over, she was met with the scent of Catra: her cologne and shampoo mixed with her sweat. And, of course, that brought the memory of Catra, flushed and sweating and riding Adora into an orgasmic bliss, right in this tiny dorm bed. The whole night kept replaying in Adora’s mind, over and over again.

At first, it was kind of fun to relive the evening. Her lips tingled from all the kissing, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the reminder that she’d really kissed Catra. Her whole body erupted in goosebumps as she recalled the push and pull in the rhythm of each kiss, the way Catra’s lips hovered teasingly above her own before shoving their lips together, like there bodies couldn’t possibly get close enough. Every single movement felt so perfect.

But, inevitably, she began to feel guilty over the interaction. She worried that she hadn’t been polite enough. She hadn’t complimented Catra as often as she would’ve liked, and certainly not as often as Catra deserved. But, maybe it’s better that way? _Would it have been weird if I’d complimented her more? Will things be weird between us now?_

The thought of reverting to some kind of awkward relationship with Catra made Adora sick to her stomach. She couldn’t imagine her life without her best friend. They’d tried that, they’d tried hating each other, and it didn’t work. She could never go back. Never.

Nothing would be worth losing Catra again.

She tried to remember how they’d settled the awkward tension after their first kiss.

They’d been fifteen at the time, just a few weeks into their sophomore year of high school. They were studying together in Adora’s room at her Aunt Light Hope’s house, which mostly consisted of Catra groaning in boredom while Adora created the most detailed to-do list of all time.

Catra plopped onto the bed next to Adora, the motion making her pens bounce off the bed, which pulled laughter from Adora. “Stop thinking so loud,” Catra joked, pressing her pointer finger against Adora’s forehead. “You’re just going to draw more attention to your enormous forehead when it’s all wrinkly. At this rate, you’ll be permanently stress-marked by the time you’re thirty.”

Adora snorted while she’d swatted Catra’s hand away, a hint of a smile escaping along with the motion. “Whatever, Catra.”

They remained silent for a moment after, simply staring at each other, a teasing glint in each of their eyes. Adora remembered feeling butterflies build in her stomach as they kept looking at each other, smiles slowly slipping as each of their eyes drifted down to the other’s lips. It had briefly occurred to Adora, in the back of her mind, that she’d never seen anyone quite as beautiful as Catra.

Normally, one of them would have made some kind of joke by then.

Catra had blinked hard when she realized how long they’d been simply looking at each other. The eye contact remained steady when Catra finally spoke, voice breathy and soft, vulnerable in that rare way that always made Adora feel like she’d unlocked some hidden secret. “Do you think we’ll still be best friends when we’re thirty?”

Adora still remembered felling bold as she shifted closer to Catra, so their lips were mere centimeters apart. “I don’t even want to think of a world where we aren’t.”

Catra’s eyes hadn’t left Adora lips while the words fell out into the world. This intimate moment felt somehow like a prize they’d won, like every terrible thing they’d ever endured was suddenly worthwhile, because it brought them to this moment. It wasn’t the first time they’d spoken about their future, but Catra had certainly never looked at Adora like _that_ during any of those previous discussions. Those all had an undertone of a hypothetical; this connection felt too raw to be a comforting lie.

They kept inching closer together, each pair of eyes flitting around every feature on the other’s face. Adora wondered how long it would take her to count Catra’s freckles. They locked eyes again, and Adora had felt her hands tremble in anticipation; holding herself back from caressing Catra’s cheek was causing genuine physical pain.

She could never remember exactly when, or how, but their lips came into contact for a very brief moment. Though it was a quick kiss, Adora spent an embarrassing amount of time recounting it, comparing every kiss she’d experienced to that first one, even though she knew nothing would live up to that feeling, like her heart could beat out of her chest, but also knowing Catra would keep it safe if it did.

Until last night, of course. Catra had clearly learned a thing or two about kissing in the last five years.

Shortly after, Catra had made some excuse and returned to her own home, while Adora sang and danced in her room for a solid hour, fundamentally ecstatic over the sensation she’d just experienced, head filled with thoughts of potentially _dating_ Catra.

The end of that week was homecoming. Adora spent _hours_ planning the perfect way to ask Catra to the dance. She went for the classic poster. It was covered in Catra’s favorites photos of the two of them, most of which involved embarrassing moments for Adora. She had to keep it small enough to hide in her locker throughout the school day. She knew Catra wouldn’t like something flashy, and she wanted the moment to feel…intimate, just for the two of them.

Plus, she’d known by then that Shadow Weaver and Light Hope wouldn’t exactly be _supportive_ of anything romantic going on between the two of them. She didn’t want to risk something that would get either of them in any sort of trouble. Especially Catra.

But, as she mustered up her courage to offer Catra the poster on their walk home (Catra always stayed back at school an extra hour and a half to wait for Adora’s swim practice to end, the sweetheart she was, not that Adora would ever say that to her face), the poster suddenly felt meager. Empty. _Stupid_. Frantically, she searched for something that could make it seem more impressive, less laughable. She spotted some flowers down the road. Eyes fixated on them, she was certain she could pluck them from the random person’s yard and offer them to Catra. Maybe they’d even kiss again! The thought sent goosebumps up and down Adora’s arms.

Catra cleared her throat from Adora’s side, taking her attention away from those flowers. Adora looked to her. Catra wouldn’t look back, eyes locked on the pavement, arms crossed around her body, like she was shielding herself away from the rest of the world.

“Hey, Adora?”

Adora straightened up at the somber tone of Catra’s voice, the desire to pick her flowers forgotten.

Catra’s shoulders hunched. “Uh…about that…kiss yesterday.” Her mismatched eyes shut tight, and Catra turned so Adora was now more behind her than next to her. “I-I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

The bridge of Adora’s nose prickled, but she pushed the feeling down. She couldn’t cry in front of Catra, not now. She’d cry when she got home. For now, she settled on a nod. Then, remembering Catra was looking the other direction, she added, “Y-yeah, of course.” And then, because it felt like the right thing to do, she added her own meager apology.

The rest of the walk home was somewhat tense and awkward, but their friendship was too important to end over the slight misinterpretation of a kiss. They kept hanging out, walking to school together, meeting up in the bathrooms to laugh together between classes. It wasn’t weird. They were still best friends.

All night, Adora fretted over reliving that experience again, now. Catra once again rejecting her, telling her it was an accident. Adora once again nodding along, pushing her feelings down until she only barely registered them.

She wasn’t sure she could handle that again, but, as sleep finally overtook her, she knew she’d do anything to keep Catra in her life.

* * *

Catra’s night was very similar, down to the flashback to their first kiss. Although, her story had a few more details to it, things she’d never dare tell Adora about.

Her fatal mistake had been leaving Adora’s blinds open.

And forgetting that she’d left her own blinds open in her room, less than ten feet away.

And, of course, being too lost in the moment to remember what a despicable asshole her foster mother truly was.

She returned home soon after the kiss, not because she wanted to leave Adora, but because she was physically incapable of thinking when Adora loomed so close to her _and_ she could still feel the ghost of Adora’s kiss. It was hard enough to focus around her before, when Catra was blissfully unaware of the softness of Adora’s lips.

As she entered the house, she quickly kicked off her shoes, turning to bolt upstairs to her own room to fully embrace her giddiness, but Shadow Weaver’s harsh voice had other plans for Catra’s evening.

Insults were thrown down her throat, remarks about _corrupting_ and _distracting_ the one and only Adora, about being _unworthy_ of any sort of affection or care from someone so angelic and kind and smart and fucking perfect.

Catra tried not to relive too many of the details. The mere reminder of the aftermath of that kiss had already haunted her on many sleepless nights.

She didn’t want Shadow Weaver to ruin this, too.

She settled further into her mattress, closed her eyes, and tried to focus on the fun parts of her evening with Adora.

In her past experiences, Catra often set the stage. She never allowed herself to feel attached to her sexual partners, never committed to them for more than a couple of hours. Sex was just an itch she liked to scratch when she could. She enjoyed flirting with people, kissing them, both making someone else feel good and feeling good herself.

But it was never _special_.

Until now.

Until it was _Adora_ she was pleasing.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, as she drifted off toward sleep, Catra realized she had never enjoyed sex before—at least not to this extent. She didn’t want to reject Adora, or shove down her desires the way she’d done growing up. She was healing from that trauma. Though she wasn’t entirely convinced that she was worthy of love just yet, she definitely did not want a so-called parental figure to have control over her love life. Especially not one she hadn’t spoken to in over a year and a half.

So, instead of guilty, Catra felt proud. To be away from Shadow Weaver. To simply acknowledge the memories of her abuse, without letting them destroy the present. To be able to give in to some of her feelings for Adora. To hope she might get the chance to do it again.

* * *

Adora was thankful for the welcome distraction of Saturday morning practice. Normally, jumping into a cold pool at seven in the morning was far from the highlight of her weekend, but the steady routine of practice had always helped her get out of her own head.

She walked from the gym to the dining hall with Mermista, one of Adora’s closest friends on the team. Mermista spent the walk groaning about the early hour, which made Adora laugh. Commiserating over their practice schedule was a welcome discussion, though the early mornings rarely bothered Adora. She was just thankful to have a distraction from thinking about Catra. Until, of course, Mermista asked the one question Adora prayed she’d avoid that morning.

“So, listen, obviously I don’t care or anything, but you have a _huge_ hickey on your neck, dude, like, huge.” Mermista sighed, flipping her still-wet braid from one shoulder to the other as she spoke. “Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, but I consider myself a pretty great kisser, and that one’s almost as good as the ones I give, so…congrats, I guess.”

As soon as the word “hickey” was out in the open, Adora firmly pressed a hand over the bruise on her neck. Adora had to admit she’d spent a few minutes admiring it in her bathroom before practice, impressed by the evenness of the shape and color. She’d hoped nobody would notice, and had readjusted the strap of her practice suit each time she finished a set to hopefully keep things under wraps. Clearly, her efforts left something to be desired.

Her hand rested on the nape of her neck, now fidgeting with the loose hairs that had fallen from her ponytail. “It was, uh, nobody? Or, um, the mail…lady?” Directing her gaze to Mermista, she asked, “That’s a thing for lesbians, too, right?”

“I’ve lost interest.”

* * *

Throughout the ninety minutes she’d been awake, Catra’s thoughts had been solely fixated on Adora. She wasn’t normally this desperate for anyone, but Adora was different. She’d fantasized plenty even before they’d actually had sex, but now, she couldn’t stop picturing the way Adora’s hips moved as she’d strutted up to her, wearing the strap, or Adora’s dazed expression when Catra removed her shirt, or the little hint of a smile Adora wore as Catra’s orgasm tore through her body.

Every second kept replaying in her mind on repeat. _Adora, Adora, Adora_.

The tension built slowly, and as soon as she heard Scorpia leave the apartment, Catra slipped her hand down her boxers and went to town.

It didn’t compare to feeling, seeing, smelling, hearing Adora all around her. She wanted to be utterly surrounded by the beautiful, strong Adora, wanted to watch those incredible muscles ripple with each thrust inside her. She missed the short gasps that escaped with nearly every motion, missed the way their panting seemed to sync up like they were one person, missed the way Adora laughed loudly in all situations, like she couldn’t even begin to contain her happiness.

She tried to focus on the memories, but it didn’t seem to be enough.

She tried every possible position, from fucking her pillow, to standing up, to sitting down, to laying on her stomach. She rubbed her clit up and down, and side to side, and in circles. She pressed two fingers inside her pussy, curling them the way that _normally_ could send her right over the edge. _Nothing worked_. Her forearms ached. As a rest for her arms, she tried pulling and pinching her nipples, massaging her breasts, _absolutely anything she could think of_.

She tried to rub her clit and finger fuck herself at the same time, but even that paled in comparison to riding Adora’s strap while Adora’s hands guided her hips.

With a groan of frustration, Catra hunted for her vibrator. It took a while to find, because she was undeniably terrified of her kitten finding it and accidently hurting themself, the curious motherfucker they were.

When she did find it, on the top shelf of her closet, she quickly realized it was _out of battery_. Of fucking course.

In her desperate state, tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. She needed an orgasm, and apparently Adora was the only way she’d be getting one. _Stupid fucking Adora, with her sexy voice, and her amazing thighs._

Only half-conscious in her haze, Catra hunted around the room for her phone. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew calling her best friend and begging for phone sex might not be her smartest move, but she was too desperate to consider anything else. Her one-track mind remained focus on her need to orgasm, and there was room for very little else in there.

She found her phone settled within her sheets. For a minute, she smiled at Adora’s contact photo. It was from ten months back, the end of their freshman year of college. They’d gone for lunch together, and Adora ordered this absolutely massive burger. In the photo, there was a splotch of ketchup on the front her shirt, and bits of food stuck in the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were crinkled from laughter, and Catra could make out the faint outline of Adora’s dimples, surrounded by the food stains from every time the idiot missed her mouth.

It was the first time since Adora’s adoption that Catra knew she wasn’t mad at Adora. She didn’t find herself clenching her jaw, or her fists. Her stomach didn’t even sink when Adora mentioned Mara. She was simply enjoying herself, a bright smile across her face the entire afternoon.

Besides, Adora hated that picture, so, naturally, it _had_ to become her contact photo. It was only right.

She probably should have been embarrassed that even this photo of Adora could turn her on, but she couldn’t help but wonder if Adora would eat _her_ that messily too, getting cum all over her face like that…

Catra pressed the call button.

“Hey, Adora.”

* * *

Adora was nearly back to her dorm when her phone rang. _It’s Catra._ They’d set up customized ringtones for each other back in middle school, and Adora never wanted to change it. She liked knowing Catra was calling without even looking at her phone.

Butterflies flooded her stomach, and she prayed Catra wasn’t on the other line waiting to tell Adora that last night had been a mistake. That would absolutely break her heart.

 _But, I have to be a good friend and respect any choice she makes_ , she reminded herself firmly. _Don’t be an asshole. Catra doesn’t owe me anything. I’m lucky I even got to experience that level of intimacy with her once._

She wiped her sweaty palm against her sweatpants before pulling her phone out of her pocket, her other hand busy fumbling with her key. Her hands shook as the call connected.

She didn’t even have time to say hello before she was greeted with a breathy, “Hey, Adora.” Knees instantly weak, she felt a sigh escape her body. Catra sounded normal. Everything was going to be okay. _She’s not mad at me_.

A smile found its way onto her face, and tears of joy formed in her eyes. “Catra,” she whispered. “I’m so glad to hear from you. How are you?”

There was a slight hesitation on the other line. Catra was breathing heavily, and Adora longed to feel those breaths against her neck again.

“I’m good.” There was a pause, both of them seemingly unsure what to say. “I’m really glad to h-hear your voice.”

Adora’s hands shook again, just slightly, and she finally had the sense to remember to enter her dorm room and close the door behind her, instead of remaining frozen in the hallway. She’d always been unbelievably attracted to Catra’s voice, but now, it seemed like she couldn’t even _hear_ her without imagining little breathy moans like the ones she’d heard last night. Cause there’s no way Catra would be moaning on the phone with her right now, right? Maybe something _was_ wrong…she should probably bring it up. That would be the right thing to do. Clear the air.

“L-listen, about last night, I’m—”

“Can we have phone sex?” Catra blurted.

Eyes wide, Adora pulled her phone away from her ear to double-check that this was really Catra. There was nobody else it would have been, nobody else Adora would have wanted this with, but the words sent an unrelenting shock through Adora’s system.

“I, uh, right now? W-with me?”

Catra growled. “Yes, right now with you! You’re so fucking dumb. Please, Adora, I—” Catra’s voice trailed off, an obviously frustrated sigh escaping her lips. Adora knew that sound. Catra’s therapist had encouraged her to take deep breaths when she got angry. Though she was still surprised by Catra’s request for phone sex, Adora felt her heart swell slightly, proud of how much work Catra put toward using healthy coping skills.

“Adora, I don’t want to pressure you or guilt you into this at all. Are you comfortable having phone sex with me? I’m alone in my apartment right now, so there’s no risk of anyone else hearing anything you say, and I will not ask to see your body, or anything like that. Just voices. Is that okay with you?”

Adora opened and closed her mouth, but no sound came out. _Of course_ she wanted to, but she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Unconsciously, she nodded her head, speechless from Catra’s kindness in ensuring her own comfort. When she realized what she was doing, she muttered to herself, “This is a phone call, she can’t see you, idiot.”

Clearing her throat and praying Catra hadn’t heard that, she said, “Yes, I’m okay with that.” And then, because it felt right, she checked, “Are you?”

Catra laughed. “Of course, dummy. I asked, remember?”

Feeling slightly foolish, Adora blew out a breath. “Yeah, right, of course.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it. Last night.” Catra’s voice came through with the edge of a moan at the end of the sentence, and Adora had to sit down, her gym bag long forgotten on the floor of her room. She settled into her sheets, heart pounding.

Shaking her head, she clarified, “Um, you—I—um, in a good way?” Why was breathing so hard? _Should I open a window? No, wait, it’s February. It’ll be fucking cold. Just calm down and listen._

Catra chuckled. Goosebumps engulfed Adora’s entire body. “Yes, princess, in a good way.”

Adora let out a whimper at that, and she prayed Catra couldn’t hear it. “Wh-what have you been, um, thinking about, exactly?”

Catra’s answer was simple, and Adora could’ve sworn she could _hear_ Catra break into a smile. “You.”

Adora’s heart started to pound. “Me? Um, I—thank you?” She couldn’t possibly form any coherent thoughts. Her mind was fully enraptured in the sounds Catra was making. There were soft moans, enough that Adora was sure she wasn’t imagining them. “Fuck, Catra, you have no idea what you’re doing to me,” she whispered. She threw her head back, accidentally hitting it against her headboard. _Maybe that’ll knock some sense into my at least_ , she thought, rubbing her head to soothe the soreness. Half of her hoped Catra somehow missed the confession, while the other half of her was begging Catra to put on even more of a show for her, letting her listen to those incredible sounds for hours on end.

Catra gasped in mock-surprise. _Oh, god, she must be loving this_. The thought alone made Adora wet. “Am _I_ turning you on? Just from touching myself on the phone with you? Gosh, princess, that is downright _dirty_ ,” Catra teased.

Adora’s breath hitched for what felt like the millionth time in the past minute. She gripped the blanket next to her. “You’re touching yourself? While—” She had to pause to clear her throat. “While thinking of me?”

Catra laughed. “Yes, you idiot. Why did _you_ think I was moaning?” And then, a moment later, “Are you okay doing this?”

“Of course, it’s okay.” Unsure how to respond to the first question, Adora opened and closed her mouth a few times before realizing there was no way she could lie her way out of this one. “Well, I thought I might have been…ya know…imagining it.” Her face felt warm enough to melt right off.

“Aww,” Catra cooed. “You miss my moans that much already?”

Without thinking, Adora stuttered out a breathless, “Yes.” Tension was building in her lower stomach, and she knew she’d need to take another shower after this phone call.

As quietly as possible, Adora grabbed her laptop from the floor so she could Google “how to have lesbian phone sex.” She had a feeling this call was going to destroy her, but she might as well make Catra happy along the way. It felt like someone had turned her brain off the second Catra had suggested this, and she needed some guidance to reboot herself.

* * *

“God, Adora, you’re so hot,” Catra whispered back. She was so close, just as she had been since Adora first answered the call. Just the sound of her sweet voice was nearly enough, but she didn’t touch herself until Adora had consented to phone sex, obviously.

Adora didn’t seem to know what to say back. Catra heard her stutter out a few times, but she didn’t get out anything particularly coherent. As much as Catra would’ve loved to believe that Adora was simply too aroused to speak, it didn’t seem likely. Not this quickly, anyway.

Growing up, Catra had a habit of noticing all of Adora’s small habits. She assumed some of it had to do with her upbringing, with the way she was constantly on the lookout for any form of anger. It was a defense mechanism. A way to protect herself.

But, with Adora, her observations were different. She didn’t pay attention out of fear. She paid attention because Adora was the most important person in the world. (And because Adora was always astonished over someone remembering any small detail about her, and Catra had always been one to soak up every smile she could pull from Adora, like a sunflower to the sun.)

From her extensive knowledge of Adora’s habits, Catra suspected Adora was uncertain. It made enough sense—she was such a perfectionist, and this was all very new, at least for the two of them. (Catra tried not to think about the other people who had likely gotten off to Adora’s sweet moans in the past.) She’d obviously worry about saying something wrong, or hurting Catra’s feelings. That’s just how Adora is—how she’s always been.

But Catra knew what to do. She’d learned how to comfort Adora very early in life. It was probably her best skill.

“Hey, Adora?” She kept her voice gentle, made sure Adora knew she was safe.

Adora hummed in acknowledgement, like she may have been distracted by something. Lost in thought. _Likely lost in her anxiety._

“Just listen to my voice. Focus on me. You can say anything that comes to mind whenever you feel comfortable. And if you want me to stop, say red, okay?”

Adora always did well with specific instructions. She liked knowing what was expected of her, liked to be able to mentally check how well she was doing. There was still some hesitation on the other line, and Catra knew to wait. Adora would talk when she was ready.

“What if I make you uncomfortable?” Her voice came across as soft, and Catra’s heart raced over how careful and sweet her Adora was. _She’s not my Adora. We’re just fooling around…again._

Catra offered some reassurance. “If you do, I’ll say yellow, and we’ll pause and regroup.”

Adora gasped and exclaimed, “Oh! It’s like a stoplight!”

“You sure are a smart one.” Catra bit back a smirk.

Catra could practically hear Adora’s eyeroll through the phone. “Shut up.”

“Well, looks like you’re not here to make me, so I don’t think I will. Besides, I think there are a lot of things you’d _love_ to hear me say to you, princess.”

Adora’s voice wavered. “Prove it.”

_Fuck, she’s hot, even when she obviously has no idea what she’s doing. How does she do that?_

“Well, for one, something tells me you’d love to know that I’ve been at this for an hour, thinking only of you.” Catra bit her lip, praying that wouldn’t be too forward. Her uncertainty only lasted a moment before a soft moan reached her ears. “Aw, you like that image, Adora?”

“Y-yes,” Adora stuttered back.

“God, your stupid, sexy voice is going to end me,” Catra groaned out, hand furiously working over her clit.

Adora gasped. “You think my voice is sexy?”

Catra didn’t say anything, already cursing her half-conscious, blissed-out mind for letting _that_ slip.

It took a moment, but apparently Adora had built up enough confidence to speak. And, god, was it worth the wait.

“I miss feeling your hands all over me.”

Catra nearly orgasmed from that simple sentence.

“Y-you do?”

“Yes! God, and the way you bit my neck… _fuck, Catra_ , you made me feel so good.” Adora voice had become progressively breathier, and Catra wondered what exactly Adora’s hands were occupied with in that moment.

Breathing was becoming much harder for Catra. “F-fuck, Adora, I’m so close.” Her legs began to shake, and she relished in the nearness of her orgasm. _Fucking finally_. Gasps and moans flew into the phone. She was ready to let go, finally, after all this time waiting on this orgasm. _And I just needed her stupid voice…fucking Adora._

“I want to hear you.” Adora’s voice was low, dominant in a way Catra had never heard before.

And it was more than enough to pull her long-awaited orgasm through her entire body, her legs twitching and her back arching right off her bed. She rubbed her clit until she physically couldn’t take it anymore, not wanting to waste even a second of this orgasm. Somewhere, there was a voice that kept repeating Adora’s name over and over again, and it would be hours before Catra realized that it had been her own voice.

* * *

Adora couldn’t stop her own groans from slipping out as she listened to Catra. _Fuck, I just know she looks so hot right now, all blissed out…_ The thought produced a whine, and she blushed from her own sound.

Though it proved difficult, Adora kept her hands out of her own pants. She didn’t know what the rules were in this situation. Would it be okay for her to touch herself as well? Would that be weird? Would Catra think she was being completely creepy and rude? Not wanting to risk any possible negative reaction, Adora focused on gripping her sheets.

As Catra’s breathing returned to a more normal pace, Adora gently asked, “How do you feel?”

“Mmm, so good,” Catra said.

Adora’s heart practically glowed at that dazed tone in Catra’s voice. She wished her own fingers had been the reason behind it, but she still liked hearing the sound, and felt genuinely honored that Catra trusted her this much.

She wanted to know everything Catra liked best, the very best ways to pull all those perfect sounds from her incredible lips. She prayed she’d be able to have sex with Catra again, someday, so she could spend hours and hours appreciating Catra’s perfect body. _I want to make her feel so special._

Her hips raised off their own accord at the mere thought of spending hours railing Catra.

Without really thinking, Adora asked, “What did you do to make yourself come so hard?” Immediately after the words escaped her lips, she grimaced, hoping that wouldn’t seem like a weird thing to ask. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer—”

“Adora, it’s okay. You’re allowed to ask. It’s hot,” Catra reassured casually. Adora wished she could wrap her arms around the other girl right then.

“I-it is?”

“From you, yes.”

Adora shivered at those words, at the concept of Catra finding her hot. _It’s not like that, though. She just means it’s hot cause I’m not some stranger. She trusts me. That’s all any of this is about._

“I used two fingers inside, and the other hand rubbed my clit.” Catra’s voice was unbelievably husky, and Adora wondered if she was this hot on purpose, or if it was just some magical accident that Catra ended up being the sexiest person in the entire world. “Now, where are your hands, princess?”

Unsure how to explain that she wasn’t touching herself, Adora said the first thing she could think of. “Oh, um, nowhere?”

Catra groaned. “You’re such an idiot, Adora.”

“I mean, I’m not, uh, touching myself. Not cause you weren’t hot or anything, you are! So hot! But, obviously, you’re more than just hot, too, I just didn’t know if it would be weird for me to touch myself too, or if I might make you feel sexualized, but maybe not touching myself hurt your feelings, now that I think of it. Oh my god, I’m so sorry—”

“Adora, you can touch yourself, too, if you want.” Catra’s voice was softer, almost gentle. Inviting. Adora wondered if Catra thought Adora might decline the offer, she’d seemed so shy in her question.

“Okay, if you’re sure?”

“I’m very, very sure. Are you okay if I touch myself at the same time? I think I have another orgasm or two in me.”

“Please do.” Adora undressed her entire lower half, spread her legs, and settled among her pillows. She felt a little nervous about doing this on the phone with Catra, but she couldn’t deny that she was almost painfully aroused. The opportunity to ease the tension was very welcome.

As soon as she touched her clit, she muttered, “Fuck, I’m so wet.” Catra let out a moan that made Adora whimper, Catra’s mere sounds enough to arouse her beyond anything else.

_She’s so perfect. God, I bet this would feel so much better if these were her fingers._

“You think so, princess?”

 _Oh fuck._ “D-did I say that out loud?” Adora asked, hand stilling against her clit. Even though Catra couldn’t see her, she hid her face with one of her hands, fundamentally mortified by her error. “I’m so sorry, Catra, I don’t want to make you feel weird, or, or, like, objectified, or anything, I—”

“I think it’s hot that you’re fantasizing about me,” Catra said, voice husky from her orgasm.

Barely able to speak through her heavy breathing, both from anxiety and from arousal, Adora asked, “Y-you do?” Her eyes were wide, and she stared intently at her phone, waiting for the answer to come through.

Catra hummed in response. “Don’t stop thinking about me.” Her tone was so commanding. It made Adora positively _drip_ onto her sheets. Voice dropping, Catra added, “I want you to moan my name when you come.”

Adora rubbed her clit a bit faster, feeling more confident now that she knew Catra wanted her to orgasm on the phone with her. _Fuck, she’s so hot_. “I will, Catra. I’ll say your name, I promise. _Fuck._ ”

“Good girl.”

Adora legs started to shake, strong enough to make her entire bed move a little, and occasionally a spring made a loud noise. The thought of Catra _hearing_ the effect she had on Adora, from the wet sounds from her pussy to the creaks of her bed, made Adora so fucking horny. She couldn’t even open her eyes anymore, too far gone to even try.

* * *

“Catra, _oh, fuck, right there_ ,” Adora exclaimed, and Catra nearly came right then and there from hearing Adora say her name like that, like she was too lost in her fantasy to differentiate between her own hands and Catra’s.

Catra brought one of her own hands up to her hair, prepared to pull it when Adora finished, lost in her own fantasy of Adora tugging it mid-orgasm.

She had one last trick up her sleeve, though, one last thing she wanted to tell Adora.

“Hey, Adora?” She kept her voice seductive, yet soft, not wanting to disturb Adora. She simply wanted to guide her into a specific fantasy, one that Catra was almost certain would get them both off, based on how the call had gone so far.

“C-Catra…” Adora gasped out in response.

“You sound so close. Are you?” She bit back her desire to tag a ‘baby’ to the end of her sentence. _I’m lucky this is even happening. I can’t push it._

“Yes!” Adora gasped, and Catra could practically _hear_ her back arching. “Catra, I’m going to come for you!”

Catra rubbed her clit a little harder at the absolutely desperate tone of Adora’s voice, her other hand still prepped to pull her hair when Adora came. (She silently thanked her past self for having the sense to grab her headphones earlier, leaving her hands completely free.)

“Imagine that it’s my tongue between your legs, fucking you so hard,” Catra instructed. She tried to keep her tone deep and commanding, but she was almost certain that at least some degree of her own desperation seeped into her words. However, hearing Adora crumble over those words, listening to those sweet, sweet moans, the chorus of “fuck, Catra, yes” that left her lips…it made everything absolutely worth it.

And, combining those sounds with a yank of her own hair, and her other hand drawing frantic circles around her clit, brought Catra into her own euphoric bliss for the second time, and she was acutely aware of the way she beamed through it, so fucking thankful that she got to hear Adora come yet again, that her words made it happen.

They both took a moment to come down from their respective orgasms, each panting into the phone.

Adora giggled softly, and the soft, familiar sound made Catra blush, even though they just had _phone sex_ , and they’re _best friends,_ and this _didn’t mean anything_.

She’d come dangerously close to forgetting that crucial detail.

“Wow,” Adora whispered, because she was the hugest dork in the world. Her awestruck tone still made Catra’s heart skip a beat, and she’d be smug over that little sound for the next fifty years of her life. “Did you, um, come a second time?”

Adora sounded so sweet, so hopeful. She was so stupidly cute. It gave Catra insane butterflies.

“Yes, I did,” Catra said.

Adora let out a sound that was somehow both a sigh and a giggle, and Catra was so in love, her chest hurt. “I wish…never mind.”

But that little notion of a wish made Catra hopeful. She couldn’t let Adora brush that thought under the rug, couldn’t just leave her guessing about its contents. “What do you wish, Adora?” Catra held her breath once the words left her mouth.

“It’s not important,” Adora insisted.

And _god,_ did that make Catra’s blood boil. “You’re important, Adora. And, you’re allowed to want things.” Her voice wavered. “What do you want right now?”

Adora whimpered, and Catra’s heart beat harder than it ever had. She couldn’t breathe, too busy desperately praying Adora would admit to wanting her.

“I-I, I want…to know if, maybe, we could have sex again sometime? Like, in person?”

Catra was fucking speechless, eyes wide over her wish coming true. _She wants to have sex with me. She wants me. Adora wants me._

“I’m sorry, ugh, that was too far, you’re my best friend, Catra, I’d never want to make you uncomfortable, I’m so sorry for even asking—”

_She really is so fucking stupid. I love her so fucking much._

“How about tomorrow?” Catra bit down on her knuckle as soon as the words were out of her mouth, eyes closed. _Please, please, please._

She could hear Adora’s smile as she breathlessly said, “Y-yeah, tomorrow’s…tomorrow’s _perfect_.”

Catra leapt from her bed, excitedly pacing around her room. “Okay. I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow then? Around, like, two?” Her dumbstruck smile was clearly audible in her voice, and she wondered if her excitement would make Adora smile.

Adora did one better.

She giggled, elated and ecstatic, right into the phone, and Catra could’ve screamed from how cute the sound was.

“I’ll see you then,” Adora confirmed, and Catra hung up quickly so Adora wouldn’t hear her shriek into her pillow.

She tried to remind herself that she shouldn’t get used to this, that whatever sort of friends with benefit situation they’d gotten themselves into did not mean Adora would ever even consider loving her back, but she was too happy to care at that moment.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Catra heard her therapist’s voice suggesting she set boundaries as a harm reduction strategy, so she didn’t end up heartbroken and brooding like her sixteen-year-old self, but she was quite busy cuddling into her pillow, pretending it’s Adora’s chest, beginning to dose off in her post-orgasm haze.

* * *

Adora did not stop smiling for the next hour. She spent a good forty minutes dancing in her room, much like she had in high school, after her first kiss, before forcing herself to wrap up in a towel and walk to the dorm showers. Normally, she reserved shower singing for more private locations, but she simply couldn’t stop herself from humming softly as she bathed, thinking of Catra’s sweet voice guiding her through such an amazing orgasm.

Not to mention the absolute _thrill_ of knowing that she’d be able to touch and kiss Catra again in just barely over twenty-four hours.

_Technically, that’ll be the third time we have sex this weekend alone! God, imagine a lifetime of this…_

_Wait._

_Fuck._

_Right._

_We’re not dating._

_Fuck._

Adora shut off the water and walked back to her room, anxiety escalating with each step. She went through the motions of getting ready, barely paying any attention to what she was doing. Her mind was practically rattling with thoughts of Catra.

She was absolutely terrified of reaching a point where Catra really wouldn’t want her anymore, wouldn’t want things between them to continue, maybe wouldn’t even want to be _friends_ with someone as _disgusting_ as Adora, who apparently couldn’t stop being so fucking horny and desperate for her. _What if I’m doing something terrible to her, and I hurt her feelings because I’m so ungrateful for our friendship? I can’t hurt her again. I can’t._ Tears welled in her eyes. Adora felt lost.

With a huff, she did the only thing she could think of, which was, of course, to walk to Bow and Glimmer’s apartment a few blocks away. _I just need a distraction. They’ll get my mind off things, and then I’ll be normal again. Yeah, that sounds right._

The walk out in the brisk February air did help calm some of Adora’s thoughts. She kept her focus on placing one foot in front of the other and tried to breathe deeply, the way her therapist had taught her. As soon as she got outside, she grabbed a fistful of snow from the ground and let it melt in her hand—another tip her therapist had taught her to help regulate her typical shakiness.

When she arrived, Bow engulfed her into a strong hug. “Adora! What a lovely surprise! We weren’t expecting you until this evening!”

Slightly sheepish as she realized she hadn’t even sent a forewarning text, Adora simply shrugged. “I missed you guys!” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Just a half-truth. They’d originally planned to all live in the apartment together, but Adora’s athletic scholarship required that she lives on-campus for her first two years of college. So, she did miss them both a lot.

Still, Glimmer saw right through her. After a brief hug, Glimmer gripped Adora’s shoulders. Faces close, Glimmer asked, “Are you alright, Adora? I can feel you shaking.”

_Guess I should’ve grabbed another handful of snow once I got closer._

“Um, it’s really cold?”

Arms crossing now, Glimmer narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Meanwhile, Bow rushed Adora towards their space heater, sat her down, and threw their fluffiest blanket directly into her lap. “Let’s get you warmed up! Do you want some hot chocolate?

Smiling at her friend’s kindness, Adora nodded. “Can you put some whipped cream on there, too? Please?”

“Of course,” Bow answered, before rushing to meet Glimmer in the kitchen a few feet away.

Adora felt her phone buzz in her back pocket. Catra’s name peered up at her from the screen, and Adora’s heart increased rapidly. Anticipation had her toes curling, the excitement of Catra talking to her overtaking her entire body.

 _I’m really excited about tomorrow. How do you feel about taking my strap? I have a feeling you’d look very nice with it buried so deep inside of you._ ;)

Adora was sweating as her eyes scanned over the words again, a soft surprised sound escaping her throat. She bit her lip to try to suppress it, her thighs twitching on impulse as she imagined Catra fucking her like _that_.

“Adora.” Glimmer walked toward Adora, hands on her hips. “What’s wrong? That’s your gay panic face.”

“Wh-what? I-I don’t have a—” Adora’s voice trailed off, eyes locking on the text yet again. “Holy fuck,” she whispered.

Glimmer stomped her foot, shifting closer to Adora’s screen. “Don’t be greedy! Share the view of the hot person!”

As Glimmer started to crowd her, Adora shifted away, her knee bouncing frantically, and finally gained the sense to lock her phone screen. “No!”

“What are you hiding?” Glimmer’s expression suddenly softened. “Is everything okay, Adora?”

Head in her hands, Adora knew there was no way out of this. She couldn’t lie, especially not to Glimmer and Bow. Shefiddled with the spare hair tie around her wrist. She wanted to tell them, of course she did, but…would it make things weird? More…real? Would there be more pressure to continue for whatever this was? “I…I slept with Catra.”

“Fucking hell, where’s my wallet?” Glimmer groaned. “Bow, you were right, they fucked before spring break.”

Springing out from the kitchen, now with an elegantly decorated mug of hot chocolate for Adora, Bow beamed. “I knew it! After Adora got drunk at the New Year’s Eve party, I _knew_ it was only a matter of time!”

Adora shook her head, blinked hard, and asked, “Were you guys…betting on us?”

Shifting somewhat guiltily, Glimmer shrugged. “I mean, you guys were taking a _while_ to figure things out…we just wanted to have a little fun with it.” Getting excited again, Glimmer grabbed Adora’s hands. “So, who said I love you first? Have either of you proposed yet? It might be a little early, but I honestly wouldn’t put it past you. I’ve seen you stare at wedding rings at the mall—”

Adora shook her head, getting a little teary. “It’s not like that, not at all,” she whispered. As much as she longed to be in an actual relationship with Catra, she knew it was impossible. “We’re not, like, _together_ together. We just…had sex. And then had phone sex. And we’re having sex again tomorrow…”

Glimmer buried her face in her hands, a dramatic sigh escaping her. Bow wrapped and arm around Adora, pulling her in for a hug. “Adora, are you comfortable having sex with Catra while burying your true feelings for her?”

Adora nodded immediately, wiping away a few stray tears. “Of course I am! She’s so respectful, and—wait, how did you know I love her?”

Glimmer’s eyes went wide. “You realized you love her? On your own?”

“I mean, I—yes? After we had sex last night…”

“Good for you! I mean, I figured it out junior year of high school when you guys weren’t even talking, but, still.” Glimmer teased, and Adora felt a little lighter. If other people could tell her feelings were real, maybe there was more validity there? Maybe she wasn’t doing some terrible thing? “I’m proud of you,” Glimmer told her sincerely.

Adora sniffed, chest aching with gratitude for her friends. “Thanks, guys. It’s just…I’m a little stressed about it all.”

“What’s on your mind? Bow asked, voice gentle and soft, clearly open to hear any answer Adora gave them.

“Does it make me a bad friend? Like, for sleeping with her? I’m scared I’ll make her uncomfortable…” Adora cast her eyes back down to the floor. It was hard to get the words out without crying again.

“Well, Adora, have you been getting explicit consent for everything you’ve done with Catra?” Bow asked. His tone clearly implied that he knew Adora wouldn’t do anything sexual without an eager and open _yes_.

Adora nodded. “I wouldn’t even try anything she didn’t agree to first.”

Resting a gentle hand on hers, Bow reassured her. “Then, it’s your job to trust Catra to tell you if something does cross a line. And, if it would help, I’d really encourage you to set some clear boundaries with Catra next time you see her. Make sure you’re both comfortable with the arrangement.”

Adora nodded again, shifting to put her arms around both of her friends. “I really love you guys.”

“We’re always here for you, Adora,” Bow said.

“We love you, too! And I’ll kick Catra’s ass if she breaks your heart,” Glimmer added, and they all laughed slightly.

They spent the rest of the evening cooking dinner together, laughing, simply enjoying each other’s company. Adora was so thankful to have such wonderful friends to confide in when she needed someone to listen to her. She felt so incredibly lucky to have met them both back in high school, shortly after Mara adopted her. They’d been there for Adora through it all.

When Adora arrived home to her dorm that night, she reread Catra’s text about seven times, despite the fact that it’s all she’d barely been able to think about anything else since first reading it. Her heart warmed at the little winking face Catra threw next to the message. Catra normally hated emojis. She thought they were stupid, and she regularly made fun of Adora for using them so frequently. Adora knew Catra only used to make sure Adora knew she always had the option to say no, that this was in no way required of her. She texted Catra back.

_I’m really excited, too. And I’d really love to do that with you._

She typed out _I’d love to do anything with you_ before deleting it. She needed to take Bow’s advice and check on Catra’s boundaries first. He’d also reminded her that her emotions made her powerful, that her love was a blessing, that she shouldn’t be afraid of it. But, learning that part was easier said than done.

She was scared that she wouldn’t be enough to make Catra happy in the long run. Scared that Catra would grow bored of their relationship. And then, as exes, how would their friendship look? It just wasn’t worth it. _I’m not worth loving, anyway_.

 _But I sure love her_.


End file.
